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During early childhood, children focus more on egocentric conversations, task and discovery, which makes it difficult to measure a young child’s self-esteem. When they enter preteen years, their self-evaluation is based on how they perceive themselves, how peers and adults view them, their ability and openness to engage with challenges and the efficacy with which they are able. To implement the task given to them. As they progress further, the manner. In which they cope with adversities also adds to their self-esteem. Pull

Adolescents who are aware of their strengths and limitations and possess the ability to acknowledge their own qualities, work on their weaknesses as a continuous part of the growth process. This helps them develop healthy self-esteem. It is important to understand that having a robust self-esteem is not governed by perfection in all domains. An adolescent may be good in a specific skilled area and not in others, and yet have good self-esteem.

Equipped with this knowledge about oneself, the child is able to take extra steps and the necessary risks to achieve goal efficiently. Simultaneously, a positive feeling and self-evaluation provides internal validation to the child and helps develop a reduced need to look for external reassurances. This further contributes to developing effective coping skills to deal with hardships in life.

Red flags that help in assessing self-esteem.

As is evident, even if at the outset, a child shows exceptional qualities, and capabilities, it is possible for her or himself to harbor a feeling of worthlessness within, reflecting in the form of low self-esteem.

Some common subjective expressions that can help you assess if your child has low. Self-esteem includes:

 1. Self-critical approach in performance.

Children often define their self-esteem based on their performance in academics or other areas of interest. These evaluations often fluctuate, as the child’s performance can and does vary, be it in academics or in areas like sport, music or art. The more these fluctuations impact the views that children harbour about themselves, the more it affects their self-esteem. Children who tend to be very critical with their own selves and continuously reassess themselves can be struggling with low self-esteem.

2. Negative evaluation of self and others.

Common negative beliefs and self-defeating thought patterns like, “I am incompetent and not enough”, “I don’t think people like me”, “I know I will not be able to perform well”, “I am not good looking”, “This was just luck” are signs of a child with poor self-esteem. Further, children who engage in forms of aggression or blame and disrespect others may also experience low self-esteem.

3. Self-doubting thought patterns.

Having a negative belief system, where there are continuous doubts about one’s self, one’s way of doing things, being around others, thinking and feeling, can be a strong indicator of low self-esteem. It is usually seen that in such a circumstance a child’s experiences self-doubt, even in areas of strength, often fluctuating and self-correcting or seeking reassurances. Avoidance of difficult situations frequently becomes a natural response.

4. Deficits in social skill.

Making friends and sustaining the friendship can be difficult for children. Children who struggle with either making friends or maintaining their friendship can experience significant self-doubt and feelings of being different from others around them. These can contribute to low self-esteem as well.

Things you can do as a parent.

The good news is, children are not born with self-esteem, but they can be given the right skills to develop a healthy one!

1. Aid your child in broadening the areas that form a part of her or his self-definition –

Go beyond the performance-based methods of characterizing the self. Instead, help your child incorporate values or virtues like care towards others, honesty, loyalty and hard work as attributes of her or his self. Children often overlook the importance of such traits as contributing to a strong personality.

• Work with your child on her or his negative belief system.

Help your child understand the lack of any evidence to support the generalized negative self-perception they have. Encourage them to develop a more positive thought process towards self and others.

• Provide your child with opportunities to acquire adequate social skills.